This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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