their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize