isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
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