i may or may not be watching the land before time
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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