All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
