He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
