Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
