Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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