your thong is hanging out like whoa
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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