Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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