He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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