hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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