The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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