i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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