I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
