Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
