girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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