Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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