So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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