If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize