Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
