There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Less talking, more tequila
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
