If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
