yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
