Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize