She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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