I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
