i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
