Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
