shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
