We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Still dying that you shit outside
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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