The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
please don't ironically join a cult
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