I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
