I accidentally had phone sex last night
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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