I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
