You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
