It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
