dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
