i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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