Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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