My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
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