He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The Olympian is in my bed
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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