When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
