I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
