drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
