i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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