Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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