So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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