We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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