Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
And then he peed in my hair
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