Only a mothe r could love this liver
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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