Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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