I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
