Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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