Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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