Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.

Fav 3 3248 1012
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(416): View more from Toronto

Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy

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(727): View more from Florida

whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.

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(917): View more from New York City

I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins

Fav 6 1995 880
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(541): View more from Oregon

I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.

Fav 1 939 516
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(480): View more from Arizona

It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.

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