I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
