I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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