Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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