we're blogging at a bar
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Randomize
