I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
