Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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