god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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