Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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