Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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