I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
he thought i was a dude.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
