But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
